Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there was a little palace with only three rooms. Two of the rooms belonged to the fair princesses Sarah the Tall, and Sarah the Not Quite So Tall. The third room was designated as throne rooms, though the thrones were turned over buckets. Outside the palace was a little barracks for the other staff.
"Oh, dear," said Sarah the tall, sitting upon her bucket gracefully. "I wish that we had a larger palace.
"Oh yes," the other Sarah agreed with a mighty shake of the head, "quite right."
But you see, their country was very poor, and a bigger palace could not be built.
"Well," Sarah the Not Quite So Tall said, "At least we might have some entertainment. Willhelm!"
Willhelm, the royal jester appeared, dressed up in vibrant colors. He looked quite sad, and was not a very good jester because his jokes often fell flat, but he was all they could afford
"Willhelm," Sarah the Tall exclaimed, jumping up so her bright blue dress sparkled, "Do entertain us."
"Yes, please," Sarah the Not So Tall interjected. "We haven't laughed in such a long time. Do the opposite of your usual."
"Yes, my fair princess," Willhelm said solemnly.
He then attempted to dance a jig, but soon ended up with a sprained ankle and sore thumb. The two princesses burst out laughing for they did not understand how he hurt himself in such a fashion. But at least it was entertaining.
Just then, Bethany the Bard appeared. Bethany, who had many altercations with Will in an attempt to make him a more cheery jester, knew the princesses needed some true cheering up.
"Oh, Bethany!" Sarah the Not So Tall said with a grin, "You're finally here to tell us a story!" "Yes," said Sarah the Tall, "Tell us of something with great adventure.”
“Yes, my princesses," Bethany said, a twinkle in her eye. "But first, allow me to introduce someone."
Just then a handsome man in blinding armor appeared. "This is Micah of Knightley Awesomeness." Bethany glanced at Willhelm the jester. "I am sorry, my friend, but it is now my turn to entertain."
She turned back. "But the story I will tell is true. Micah the Knight of Awesome has brought to me a tale of wonder. I know you seek gold for the purpose of palace expansion. I will allow Sir Micah to tell you his wonders."
"Oh yes!" The princesses Sarah exclaimed, both leaning at varying heights.
"There is gold," Sir Micah said, "In a cavern a few miles from here. But inside lurks a great dragon."
"Heavens!" The Tall Sarah said, while Not So Tall Sarah looked shocked.
"So what?" Willhelm the Jester said, fingering the bells on his toes. "A dragon. It's not like he's Smaug."
Bethany the Bard smirked at Willhelm. "Ah, but this is a special dragon. This dragon likes bad jokes. And there is no one I know who can make bad jokes like you."
Sarah the Not So Tall gasped. "She's right!" She giggled. "You would be perfect for a dragon who likes bad jokes."
"I am going to find the dragon, but I need to take the jester with me," Micah of Awesome said.
"Well," Sarah the Tall said, stepping off of her bucket. "I say we all go. It could be entertaining."
"And don't forget the money!" Sarah the Not So Tall said, thinking of having a palace where everyone could have their own room.
"The world is a big joke," Willhelm the deplorably bad jester said out of nowhere. Everyone stared at him as he reached a new level of weirdness.
"So," Bard Bethany said, staring at him in case he made any quick motions, "Are you in?"
Willhelm frowned, about to quote Shakespeare, but he shrugged. "Why not?"
"Goody!" the two Sarah's squealed, packing a picnic lunch for everyone.
So they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and... well you get the point. Finally, as the sun was going down, they neared the cavern Micah the Awesome claimed the dragon occupied.
"Oh dear, but how can we visit a dragon at night?" Sarah the Tall said. "It is very rude," Sarah the Not So Tall agreed, "We should at least wait till tea time."
"Fine," Bethany the Bard said, "We'll sleep here tonight, but we're not waiting till tea time.”
"Fine," The Sarahs said with a pout but were soon smiling again with the promise of marshmallows.
The night past without event, except for Micah the Knight borrowing Bethany the Bard's lyre and making her look like an idiot as he caressed the strings into beautiful music. But Bethany soon stumped in in the art of storytelling, and they soon formed a partnership where he would play music as she talked, and he decided that once he was out of his service time they would join as a traveling group of story and music
Finally the night past, and at crack of dawn, Micah the Awesome was awake. "Let us charge the stronghold of the beast and cut off it's head!"
"Well, that is not so kind, talking to a person you barely know like that," a feminine voice said, sounded very offended. They all looked up in horror to see a gigantic dragon circling above them, with a hawk beside her.
"Well this is an unusual development," Micah the Awesome said.
"Pretty," Willhelm the Jester said, staring into space.
"Kill it!" Micah the Awesome squealed as the two Sarah's danced around
"My name is Savannah!" The dragon yelled, spraying the ground with purple flames.
"Pretty!" Willhelm exclaimed.
The hawk dove toward Micah the Knight and pecked his forehead. "The name is Leah."
"Right," Willhelm the Jester said. "And I'm Willhelm the Jester."
"And I'm a princess," Sarah the Not So Tall Said. "Me too," said Sarah the Tall.
The dragon alighted, swiping Micah the Awesome out of the way with a wing tip.
She was staring at Willhelm the Jester with sparkling eyes. All of a sudden, her great mouth open, showing off her fine, knife length teeth. And she began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
"You, a Jester? I've never seen such a solemn jester. What a good joke!" And she continued to laugh.
"Right," Bethany the Bard said, scooting away and grabbing her notebook. This could make a good story later.
The princesses scratched their heads, wondering why the dragon was laughing when there wasn't even a joke spoken.
The hawk cawed along.
Willhelm blinked, no expression of humor shadowing his face.
"Yes, I'm a Jester. I tell lots of jokes."
The dragon was captivated, a grin fixed on her large face. "Oh?"
Just then Micah the Awesome jumped up and ran toward Savannah the dragon with his exceptional sword, Awesomeness. The dragon didn't even look at Sir Micah, and merely flicked him with her large nail.
"Tell another joke!" Sarah the Tall suggested
"No, no!" Sarah the Not So Tall disagreed. "Do a dance instead. That is much worse."
"Fine," The Jester said, looking extremely bored. "What made the chicken cross the road?"
"That's not a dance!" Sarah the Not So Tall cried.
Willhelm ignored her.
"What?" the dragon asked.
"It wanted to buy some eggs."
The dragon burst into laughter again.
"Uh..." Bethany the Bard said, lookin garound, "That's not even a joke."
Micah the Awesome had an idea come into his head... his poor pounding head. Since the dragon seemed occupied, he snuck into her cavern without anyone noticing. Willhelm continued his jokes that no one understood, but the dragon seemed to find enjoyable, while the others retreated to the shade of a tree. "Can we have tea now?" The Sarah's asked. At last Sir Micah reemerged with a strange clanking accompanying his footsteps.
"Well, my good princesses," Micah the Awesome said with swagger, "I think we can afford a bigger palace now."
"Oh goody!" Sarah the Not so Tall exclaimed
The two princesses skipped off with the knight while Bethany the Bard watched in wonder.
"Well," Willhelm the Jester said. "I guess I"m off."
"No!" the dragon roared. "You must stay with me and make me laugh forever!"
"Uh..." Willhelm glanced at Bethany, pleading. "No." He turned, and ran for his life to where Bethany was standing. "You know, you aren't such a bad friend."
Just then, instead of chasing after the Jester, the dragon burst into great big dragon tears, sobbing uncontrollably with as much vigor as she had previously cried. Bethany the Bard stared, scribbling her notebook as the princesses reappeared. "I forgot my basket," Sarah the Tall declared.
"Oh dear, why is the dragon crying?" Sarah the Not So Tall said, with sympathy shining from her eyes.
"Because I may have pricked it with Awesomeness," Micah the Awesome declared.
"Oh, forget it!" Willhelm trudged back to the dragon. "Stop crying."
The dragon looked up at him, sniffing loudly. "Will you stay with me forever?"
Willhelm stared at the dragon for a long time, thinking how ugly she was and imagining looking at her for his entire life and telling lame jokes.
"Fine," he said at last.
The dragon gasped and big tears filled her eyes again. "Oh, why are you crying now?" Willhelm asked in confusion. "Girls are so weird!"
"It is because I am happy."
Just then an amazing thing happened. As a final tear fled the dragon's eye, she flew into the air and exploded in a big explosion of ash and fire.
The hawk squawked.
"Whoah," the knight said. "I poked her hard."
"Pretty," Willhelm said, staring into space.
In the dragon's place floated a beautiful girl. She lowered to the ground, and the hawk landed on her arm. She smiled at Willhelm. "Thank you for freeing me. It is very dull to have to listen to bad jokes and find someone who tells bad jokes willing to stay with you forever. Thank you thank you."
Willhelm stared, gulping, looking more afraid than he had been while she was in dragon form.
"Well, Bard Bethany said. "I think this is a satisfactory ending to the story. You marry dragon girl, and I'll go publish this in the Fantasy Times."
"But what about our expansion project!" Sarah the Tall said.
"The dragon is saying that Willhelm freed her by agreeing to stay with her forever," Sarah the Not So Tall said.
"Precisely," the hawk said.
"Pretty," Willhelm said, staring at the girl. He fell to his knees, and spread his arms wide. "I will tell you bad jokes forever more."
The dragon girl smiled. "Thank you. For if you didn't, and I heard no bad joke for a year, I would change back."
"Right, well onto the expansion project!" Sarah the Tall announced.
"Yes, that!" Sarah the Not So Tall agreed.
The two Sarah's walked off, and Micah the Awesome ran after them, holding Awesomeness in his grip.
Just then he tripped and decapitated himself. Just kidding. In actuality, the prince approached the princesses. "So, are you single?"
"Which?" they asked, appalled.
"Uh... either?'
They raised eyebrows, gave secretive grins, and ran away. "Hey wait!" Micah of awesome exclaimed. "Your treasure!"
So Bethany the Bard wandered after the Princesses and Micah the Awesome, wondering which of them he would marry, if any. And that is how this story must end. For now. And they all lived happily ever after, mostly, though Savannah was known for dragon breath. To be continued.
The End
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