Friday, May 23, 2014

A Crossover Adventure (Part 1)

Disclaimer—I own none of the following: Doctor Who, Wizard of Oz, A Christmas Carol, Willy Wonka, or Into the Woods. And if that sentence didn't intrigue, excite, or terrify you, I don't know what to think. But anyway. Welcome! I am the shorter of the two Sarah's, and today I will be sharing a story of my own. 

As we may have mentioned, a favorite interest shared by all of us Awesomes is musical theatre. We met at the same theatre organization and have performed in several musicals with one another, most of which are listed in the disclaimer. We love to perform, as well as character act. Well, today, you get to see the characters we have played in action. Many, if not all, of these recognizable characters from a hodgepodge of musicals were played by one of us somewhere down the line. I will reveal who is who after the story's end. Thanks for stopping by, and as is the case in most crossovers, prepare for crazy! ~Sarah H. of the Awesomes

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a prince named Wilhelm. Now Prince Wilhelm, although beloved by his people, was careless and ultimately more concerned with finding temporary love interests than governing a kingdom. One day, however, he grew tired of chasing maidens and hacking through thickets, so he decided to reform and devote his time to becoming a better ruler.

You see, after the events of the musical, the kingdom was in disarray. The destruction wrought by the giantess had sent the land into a severe economic depression. There were homes to be rebuilt, funeral expenses to be paid, and a sudden lack of people to pay taxes.

To make matters worse, a passing dwarf sentry had heard the disparaging remark made by Wilhelm's younger brother. And he hadn't much cared for being called, "upsetting." He had reported the offense to his brethren, who, outraged, declared war on the kingdom. The First Great Dwarf War was well underway and had already claimed several additional lives.

But more than anything, it was the morale of the kingdom that was in disrepair. The citizens were desperate and gloomy; no one even attended the royal balls anymore. So in an effort to reinvent himself and save the kingdom, Wilhelm attempted to consult the royal family's most trusted advisor, Sarah Elizabeth, only to discover that she knew no more about governing a kingdom than he did.

"I know no more about governing a kingdom than you do," she said. "The government hasn't shown real interest in its subjects for years. Why do you think we let a giantess rampage for as long as she did?"

However, she did recall a legend of a mysterious sage residing in the local woods whose wisdom knew no limits. She told Prince William so, and he was renewed with a great vigor. "We must be off at once!" He declared. So he donned his belt, and Sarah Elizabeth donned her bonnet, and the two of them started on an immediate course...into the woods.

One six-minute song and dance break later, the pair encountered a beautiful young woman in a very large, pink dress. She wore a tall crown and carried a silver wand and a brown paper bag.

"Hello," she introduced herself to them, "I am Glinda, witch of the north."

Certain he had found the sage, Prince Wilhelm stepped forward. "Greetings, fair maiden. I am Prince Wilhem, and I have come far in search of the wise sage of the woods."

Glinda smiled sincerely. "Right this way."

She led them further into the woods, past an endless assortment of trees, until the threesome came up to, of all things, a bed, squashed in between two trees. There were two others there, one standing beside the bed, and one huddled on top of it.

The person beside the bed was a short, round man in a powdered wig. His face was wrinkled, but cheerful. He had a jovial, reassuring smile.

The woman on the bed was older still, perhaps twice as ancient as the man. Huddled up in the blankets, she looked so frail the bed appeared to swallow her up. Her face was all wrinkles and frowns, and she had her arms crossed over her chest in a grumpy sort of way.

"How odd," Wilhelm couldn't help but think. He cleared his throat, and approached Glinda. "Oh, wise sage of the forest..."

Glinda gave a start. "Me? Oh no, I'm afraid you have it all wrong. I'm the one who makes coffee runs."

Sarah Elizabeth looked at her questioningly. "You make the coffee runs?"

Glinda shrugged. "It's my day job. But anyway—I'm not the sage, she is." She pointed at the decrepit figure in the bed. "Georgina the Great."

After recovering from a slight bit of shock, Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth took a few hesitant steps closer to the bed. Not being able to help but be put off by the scorn etched across the elderly woman's face, Wilhelm instead turned to the man standing beside the bed. "Who might you be?"

The man gave a bow. "I go by Mr. Fezziwig. I'm her financial advisor, but I also throw a mean Christmas ball..."

But what exactly what was so great about this Christmas ball, the group did not get to hear, because out of nowhere, there came the sound of a thunderclap, and the empty space in front of Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth was suddenly replaced by a gaping portal.

Wilhelm leapt back in alarm. "What witchcraft is this? A gateway to another world?"

No, said Georgina, speaking for the first time. "It's much worse than that. It's...a plot device!"

The portal spluttered, and out popped the cyberman from the very first story.

"You will all be deleted," he said.

William drew his sword. Glinda drew her spear. Sarah Elizabeth drew on her advisor's clipboard. But as they were drawing, a large tree decorated with colored baubles appeared over the metal man's shoulder and whacked him on the head.

Then, as it was distracted, Georgina's voice piped up from behind the metal man, "Is this all? What in heaven's name is going on with all these newfangled doohickeys? Back in my day, all this heap of junk would have been good for was a garbage can lid."

So caustic was the remark that the cyberman regained his emotions and felt such a rage that he spontaneously imploded.

"Oh!" Glinda exclaimed, while Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth stared in disbelief, "I almost forgot—your coffee!"

She reached into the brown Starbucks bag and pulled out a cup of coffee. She gave it to Mr. Fezziwig, who was straightening out the branches on his Christmas tree.

"Much obliged," said he.

Then she went over to Georgina. "Here you go, here's your dark roast."

Georgina wrinkled her nose. "I said I wanted toast. TOAST."

"But—it was a coffee run..."

Wilhelm interrupted her by clearing his throat. "Pardon me, Ms. Sage," he said, "if you didn't inspire a lot of confidence in me earlier. But what occurred just now, might I say, was extraordinary. You have my full trust. And now...I couldn't help but wonder if you could share your wisdom with a humble prince.

Georgina considered.

"Young man," she began. "Your kingdom may be starving,"

"Starving!" Fezziwig piped up, plopping down beside her on the bed.

"And you may be poor...in spirit..."

"Poorer than church mice."

"But a Prince like you should always...think positive!"

And Prince Wilhelm was so taken by her advice that he immediately requested that the group of three in the forest join them in the castle at once to be their permanent advisors. Georgina considered, and after thirteen minutes of vacillation and a brief nap, she said that she would provided that she could stay in her bed, and if the royal family provided good retirement benefits and Medicare.

So the five returned to the kingdom, and all was right in the world. Thanks to the financial advice of Mr. Fezziwig, the kingdom experienced an economic boom. Glinda kept them all fed with coffee and overpriced Starbucks pastries. Georgina napped, mostly. And knitted. But Wilhelm was pretty sure it was through her sagely advice that the kingdom was able to get back on track.

And as for the festivals, thanks to a certain someone's knack for throwing Christmas balls, they had never been better.

To be continued... :)

CAST:
Glinda: Bethany
Mr. Fezziwig: Micah
Grandma Georgina: Sarah the fun-sized
The prince: Will
Herself: Sarah the tall



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