Friday, May 23, 2014

A Crossover Adventure (Part 1)

Disclaimer—I own none of the following: Doctor Who, Wizard of Oz, A Christmas Carol, Willy Wonka, or Into the Woods. And if that sentence didn't intrigue, excite, or terrify you, I don't know what to think. But anyway. Welcome! I am the shorter of the two Sarah's, and today I will be sharing a story of my own. 

As we may have mentioned, a favorite interest shared by all of us Awesomes is musical theatre. We met at the same theatre organization and have performed in several musicals with one another, most of which are listed in the disclaimer. We love to perform, as well as character act. Well, today, you get to see the characters we have played in action. Many, if not all, of these recognizable characters from a hodgepodge of musicals were played by one of us somewhere down the line. I will reveal who is who after the story's end. Thanks for stopping by, and as is the case in most crossovers, prepare for crazy! ~Sarah H. of the Awesomes

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there lived a prince named Wilhelm. Now Prince Wilhelm, although beloved by his people, was careless and ultimately more concerned with finding temporary love interests than governing a kingdom. One day, however, he grew tired of chasing maidens and hacking through thickets, so he decided to reform and devote his time to becoming a better ruler.

You see, after the events of the musical, the kingdom was in disarray. The destruction wrought by the giantess had sent the land into a severe economic depression. There were homes to be rebuilt, funeral expenses to be paid, and a sudden lack of people to pay taxes.

To make matters worse, a passing dwarf sentry had heard the disparaging remark made by Wilhelm's younger brother. And he hadn't much cared for being called, "upsetting." He had reported the offense to his brethren, who, outraged, declared war on the kingdom. The First Great Dwarf War was well underway and had already claimed several additional lives.

But more than anything, it was the morale of the kingdom that was in disrepair. The citizens were desperate and gloomy; no one even attended the royal balls anymore. So in an effort to reinvent himself and save the kingdom, Wilhelm attempted to consult the royal family's most trusted advisor, Sarah Elizabeth, only to discover that she knew no more about governing a kingdom than he did.

"I know no more about governing a kingdom than you do," she said. "The government hasn't shown real interest in its subjects for years. Why do you think we let a giantess rampage for as long as she did?"

However, she did recall a legend of a mysterious sage residing in the local woods whose wisdom knew no limits. She told Prince William so, and he was renewed with a great vigor. "We must be off at once!" He declared. So he donned his belt, and Sarah Elizabeth donned her bonnet, and the two of them started on an immediate course...into the woods.

One six-minute song and dance break later, the pair encountered a beautiful young woman in a very large, pink dress. She wore a tall crown and carried a silver wand and a brown paper bag.

"Hello," she introduced herself to them, "I am Glinda, witch of the north."

Certain he had found the sage, Prince Wilhelm stepped forward. "Greetings, fair maiden. I am Prince Wilhem, and I have come far in search of the wise sage of the woods."

Glinda smiled sincerely. "Right this way."

She led them further into the woods, past an endless assortment of trees, until the threesome came up to, of all things, a bed, squashed in between two trees. There were two others there, one standing beside the bed, and one huddled on top of it.

The person beside the bed was a short, round man in a powdered wig. His face was wrinkled, but cheerful. He had a jovial, reassuring smile.

The woman on the bed was older still, perhaps twice as ancient as the man. Huddled up in the blankets, she looked so frail the bed appeared to swallow her up. Her face was all wrinkles and frowns, and she had her arms crossed over her chest in a grumpy sort of way.

"How odd," Wilhelm couldn't help but think. He cleared his throat, and approached Glinda. "Oh, wise sage of the forest..."

Glinda gave a start. "Me? Oh no, I'm afraid you have it all wrong. I'm the one who makes coffee runs."

Sarah Elizabeth looked at her questioningly. "You make the coffee runs?"

Glinda shrugged. "It's my day job. But anyway—I'm not the sage, she is." She pointed at the decrepit figure in the bed. "Georgina the Great."

After recovering from a slight bit of shock, Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth took a few hesitant steps closer to the bed. Not being able to help but be put off by the scorn etched across the elderly woman's face, Wilhelm instead turned to the man standing beside the bed. "Who might you be?"

The man gave a bow. "I go by Mr. Fezziwig. I'm her financial advisor, but I also throw a mean Christmas ball..."

But what exactly what was so great about this Christmas ball, the group did not get to hear, because out of nowhere, there came the sound of a thunderclap, and the empty space in front of Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth was suddenly replaced by a gaping portal.

Wilhelm leapt back in alarm. "What witchcraft is this? A gateway to another world?"

No, said Georgina, speaking for the first time. "It's much worse than that. It's...a plot device!"

The portal spluttered, and out popped the cyberman from the very first story.

"You will all be deleted," he said.

William drew his sword. Glinda drew her spear. Sarah Elizabeth drew on her advisor's clipboard. But as they were drawing, a large tree decorated with colored baubles appeared over the metal man's shoulder and whacked him on the head.

Then, as it was distracted, Georgina's voice piped up from behind the metal man, "Is this all? What in heaven's name is going on with all these newfangled doohickeys? Back in my day, all this heap of junk would have been good for was a garbage can lid."

So caustic was the remark that the cyberman regained his emotions and felt such a rage that he spontaneously imploded.

"Oh!" Glinda exclaimed, while Wilhelm and Sarah Elizabeth stared in disbelief, "I almost forgot—your coffee!"

She reached into the brown Starbucks bag and pulled out a cup of coffee. She gave it to Mr. Fezziwig, who was straightening out the branches on his Christmas tree.

"Much obliged," said he.

Then she went over to Georgina. "Here you go, here's your dark roast."

Georgina wrinkled her nose. "I said I wanted toast. TOAST."

"But—it was a coffee run..."

Wilhelm interrupted her by clearing his throat. "Pardon me, Ms. Sage," he said, "if you didn't inspire a lot of confidence in me earlier. But what occurred just now, might I say, was extraordinary. You have my full trust. And now...I couldn't help but wonder if you could share your wisdom with a humble prince.

Georgina considered.

"Young man," she began. "Your kingdom may be starving,"

"Starving!" Fezziwig piped up, plopping down beside her on the bed.

"And you may be spirit..."

"Poorer than church mice."

"But a Prince like you should always...think positive!"

And Prince Wilhelm was so taken by her advice that he immediately requested that the group of three in the forest join them in the castle at once to be their permanent advisors. Georgina considered, and after thirteen minutes of vacillation and a brief nap, she said that she would provided that she could stay in her bed, and if the royal family provided good retirement benefits and Medicare.

So the five returned to the kingdom, and all was right in the world. Thanks to the financial advice of Mr. Fezziwig, the kingdom experienced an economic boom. Glinda kept them all fed with coffee and overpriced Starbucks pastries. Georgina napped, mostly. And knitted. But Wilhelm was pretty sure it was through her sagely advice that the kingdom was able to get back on track.

And as for the festivals, thanks to a certain someone's knack for throwing Christmas balls, they had never been better.

To be continued... :)

Glinda: Bethany
Mr. Fezziwig: Micah
Grandma Georgina: Sarah the fun-sized
The prince: Will
Herself: Sarah the tall

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Dragon and the Jester

Hello, friends! It's your neighborhood joking genius, Willhelm the Jester. Bethany the Bard introduced my story, so now it is my turn to do the same! This is a tale of knights, princesses, and, wait, I can't tell you about that. Spoilers! Enjoy our second story and the one where we got our names, by the Bard! -Will of the Awesomes

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there was a little palace with only three rooms. Two of the rooms belonged to the fair princesses Sarah the Tall, and Sarah the Not Quite So Tall. The third room was designated as throne rooms, though the thrones were turned over buckets. Outside the palace was a little barracks for the other staff.
"Oh, dear," said Sarah the tall, sitting upon her bucket gracefully. "I wish that we had a larger palace.
"Oh yes," the other Sarah agreed with a mighty shake of the head, "quite right."
But you see, their country was very poor, and a bigger palace could not be built. 
 "Well," Sarah the Not Quite So Tall said, "At least we might have some entertainment. Willhelm!"
 Willhelm, the royal jester appeared, dressed up in vibrant colors. He looked quite sad, and was not a very good jester because his jokes often fell flat, but he was all they could afford
 "Willhelm," Sarah the Tall exclaimed, jumping up so her bright blue dress sparkled, "Do entertain us."
"Yes, please," Sarah the Not So Tall interjected. "We haven't laughed in such a long time. Do the opposite of your usual."
"Yes, my fair princess," Willhelm said solemnly.
He then attempted to dance a jig, but soon ended up with a sprained ankle and sore thumb. The two princesses burst out laughing for they did not understand how he hurt himself in such a fashion. But at least it was entertaining.
Just then, Bethany the Bard appeared. Bethany, who had many altercations with Will in an attempt to make him a more cheery jester, knew the princesses needed some true cheering up.
"Oh, Bethany!" Sarah the Not So Tall said with a grin, "You're finally here to tell us a story!" "Yes," said Sarah the Tall, "Tell us of something with great adventure.”
“Yes, my princesses," Bethany said, a twinkle in her eye. "But first, allow me to introduce someone."
Just then a handsome man in blinding armor appeared. "This is Micah of Knightley Awesomeness." Bethany glanced at Willhelm the jester. "I am sorry, my friend, but it is now my turn to entertain."
She turned back. "But the story I will tell is true. Micah the Knight of Awesome has brought to me a tale of wonder. I know you seek gold for the purpose of palace expansion. I will allow Sir Micah to tell you his wonders."
"Oh yes!" The princesses Sarah exclaimed, both leaning at varying heights.
"There is gold," Sir Micah said, "In a cavern a few miles from here. But inside lurks a great dragon."
"Heavens!" The Tall Sarah said, while Not So Tall Sarah looked shocked.
"So what?" Willhelm the Jester said, fingering the bells on his toes. "A dragon. It's not like he's Smaug."
Bethany the Bard smirked at Willhelm. "Ah, but this is a special dragon. This dragon likes bad jokes. And there is no one I know who can make bad jokes like you."
Sarah the Not So Tall gasped. "She's right!" She giggled. "You would be perfect for a dragon who likes bad jokes."
"I am going to find the dragon, but I need to take the jester with me," Micah of Awesome said.
"Well," Sarah the Tall said, stepping off of her bucket. "I say we all go. It could be entertaining."
"And don't forget the money!" Sarah the Not So Tall said, thinking of having a palace where everyone could have their own room.
"The world is a big joke," Willhelm the deplorably bad jester said out of nowhere. Everyone stared at him as he reached a new level of weirdness.
"So," Bard Bethany said, staring at him in case he made any quick motions, "Are you in?"
Willhelm frowned, about to quote Shakespeare, but he shrugged. "Why not?"
"Goody!" the two Sarah's squealed, packing a picnic lunch for everyone.
So they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and... well you get the point. Finally, as the sun was going down, they neared the cavern Micah the Awesome claimed the dragon occupied.
"Oh dear, but how can we visit a dragon at night?" Sarah the Tall said. "It is very rude," Sarah the Not So Tall agreed, "We should at least wait till tea time."
"Fine," Bethany the Bard said, "We'll sleep here tonight, but we're not waiting till tea time.”
"Fine," The Sarahs said with a pout but were soon smiling again with the promise of marshmallows.
The night past without event, except for Micah the Knight borrowing Bethany the Bard's lyre and making her look like an idiot as he caressed the strings into beautiful music. But Bethany soon stumped in in the art of storytelling, and they soon formed a partnership where he would play music as she talked, and he decided that once he was out of his service time they would join as a traveling group of story and music
Finally the night past, and at crack of dawn, Micah the Awesome was awake. "Let us charge the stronghold of the beast and cut off it's head!"
"Well, that is not so kind, talking to a person you barely know like that," a feminine voice said, sounded very offended. They all looked up in horror to see a gigantic dragon circling above them, with a hawk beside her.
"Well this is an unusual development," Micah the Awesome said.
"Pretty," Willhelm the Jester said, staring into space.
"Kill it!" Micah the Awesome squealed as the two Sarah's danced around
"My name is Savannah!" The dragon yelled, spraying the ground with purple flames.
"Pretty!" Willhelm exclaimed.
The hawk dove toward Micah the Knight and pecked his forehead. "The name is Leah."
"Right," Willhelm the Jester said. "And I'm Willhelm the Jester."
"And I'm a princess," Sarah the Not So Tall Said. "Me too," said Sarah the Tall.
The dragon alighted, swiping Micah the Awesome out of the way with a wing tip.
She was staring at Willhelm the Jester with sparkling eyes. All of a sudden, her great mouth open, showing off her fine, knife length teeth. And she began to laugh. And laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
"You, a Jester? I've never seen such a solemn jester. What a good joke!" And she continued to laugh.
"Right," Bethany the Bard said, scooting away and grabbing her notebook. This could make a good story later.
The princesses scratched their heads, wondering why the dragon was laughing when there wasn't even a joke spoken.
The hawk cawed along.
Willhelm blinked, no expression of humor shadowing his face.
"Yes, I'm a Jester. I tell lots of jokes."
The dragon was captivated, a grin fixed on her large face. "Oh?"
Just then Micah the Awesome jumped up and ran toward Savannah the dragon with his exceptional sword, Awesomeness. The dragon didn't even look at Sir Micah, and merely flicked him with her large nail.
"Tell another joke!" Sarah the Tall suggested
"No, no!" Sarah the Not So Tall disagreed. "Do a dance instead. That is much worse."
"Fine," The Jester said, looking extremely bored. "What made the chicken cross the road?"
"That's not a dance!" Sarah the Not So Tall cried.
Willhelm ignored her.
"What?" the dragon asked.
"It wanted to buy some eggs."
The dragon burst into laughter again.
"Uh..." Bethany the Bard said, lookin garound, "That's not even a joke."
Micah the Awesome had an idea come into his head... his poor pounding head. Since the dragon seemed occupied, he snuck into her cavern without anyone noticing. Willhelm continued his jokes that no one understood, but the dragon seemed to find enjoyable, while the others retreated to the shade of a tree. "Can we have tea now?" The Sarah's asked. At last Sir Micah reemerged with a strange clanking accompanying his footsteps.
"Well, my good princesses," Micah the Awesome said with swagger, "I think we can afford a bigger palace now."
"Oh goody!" Sarah the Not so Tall exclaimed
The two princesses skipped off with the knight while Bethany the Bard watched in wonder.
"Well," Willhelm the Jester said. "I guess I"m off."
"No!" the dragon roared. "You must stay with me and make me laugh forever!"
"Uh..." Willhelm glanced at Bethany, pleading. "No." He turned, and ran for his life to where Bethany was standing. "You know, you aren't such a bad friend."
Just then, instead of chasing after the Jester, the dragon burst into great big dragon tears, sobbing uncontrollably with as much vigor as she had previously cried. Bethany the Bard stared, scribbling her notebook as the princesses reappeared. "I forgot my basket," Sarah the Tall declared.
"Oh dear, why is the dragon crying?" Sarah the Not So Tall said, with sympathy shining from her eyes.
"Because I may have pricked it with Awesomeness," Micah the Awesome declared.
"Oh, forget it!" Willhelm trudged back to the dragon. "Stop crying."
The dragon looked up at him, sniffing loudly. "Will you stay with me forever?"
Willhelm stared at the dragon for a long time, thinking how ugly she was and imagining looking at her for his entire life and telling lame jokes.
"Fine," he said at last.
The dragon gasped and big tears filled her eyes again. "Oh, why are you crying now?" Willhelm asked in confusion. "Girls are so weird!"
"It is because I am happy."
Just then an amazing thing happened. As a final tear fled the dragon's eye, she flew into the air and exploded in a big explosion of ash and fire.
The hawk squawked.
"Whoah," the knight said. "I poked her hard."
"Pretty," Willhelm said, staring into space.
In the dragon's place floated a beautiful girl. She lowered to the ground, and the hawk landed on her arm. She smiled at Willhelm. "Thank you for freeing me. It is very dull to have to listen to bad jokes and find someone who tells bad jokes willing to stay with you forever. Thank you thank you."
Willhelm stared, gulping, looking more afraid than he had been while she was in dragon form.
"Well, Bard Bethany said. "I think this is a satisfactory ending to the story. You marry dragon girl, and I'll go publish this in the Fantasy Times."
"But what about our expansion project!" Sarah the Tall said.
"The dragon is saying that Willhelm freed her by agreeing to stay with her forever," Sarah the Not So Tall said.
"Precisely," the hawk said.
"Pretty," Willhelm said, staring at the girl. He fell to his knees, and spread his arms wide. "I will tell you bad jokes forever more."
The dragon girl smiled. "Thank you. For if you didn't, and I heard no bad joke for a year, I would change back."
"Right, well onto the expansion project!" Sarah the Tall announced.
"Yes, that!" Sarah the Not So Tall agreed.
The two Sarah's walked off, and Micah the Awesome ran after them, holding Awesomeness in his grip.
Just then he tripped and decapitated himself. Just kidding. In actuality, the prince approached the princesses. "So, are you single?"
"Which?" they asked, appalled.
"Uh... either?'
They raised eyebrows, gave secretive grins, and ran away. "Hey wait!" Micah of awesome exclaimed. "Your treasure!"
So Bethany the Bard wandered after the Princesses and Micah the Awesome, wondering which of them he would marry, if any. And that is how this story must end. For now. And they all lived happily ever after, mostly, though Savannah was known for dragon breath. To be continued.

The End

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Strange Blue Boxes and Maidens With Frying Pans (Or How to Kill a Cyberman Part: One.)

 Hello everyone. This isn't much of an introduction, but we may go into more detail later. *Ahem* Anyway, we're the Awesomes. Well. Not really. But we're a group of friends who enjoy acting, singing, and dancing together at rehearsals and having strange conversations on facebook. Our strange conversations have developed into a sort of story time, where each of us tells stories to each other on different nights. We decided to increment each of the people in our group as characters. First up is Will's story ~ Bethany for the Awesomes. ... Disclaimer: We definitely do not own Doctor Who. And these stories aren't completely edited, and were just written for the fun of all involved, so no nasty talk. :)

 Once upon a time, there were two girls, who were both named Sarah. They often talked of having grand adventures, but never were able to see far off lands, or wear the fanciest of dresses. 
 But one day, a strange blue box appeared outside their door, and a funny man with a bow tie jumped out. "Quick! Get in! Both of you!" 
 They both hurried into the small box, wondering how they would all fit. Then, they saw the most magical room they had ever seen. 
 "It's bigger on the inside!" said the Sarah whose middle named happened to be Elizabeth.
"Precisely." Said the funny man. "Well, where are we off to? Perhaps the Medusa cascade, or the Rings of....No, I say that we go to England, 1820s!" 
 Then there was a whoosh, and a flash, and the box flew off. Then there was a thud, and the door creaked open. Outside, there was the loveliest garden, and sitting at a table in that garden was a young man in princely attire. "Ah, Doctor, you've arrived, and you've brought guests!" 
 "Indeed, Prince Micah. May I present Sarah and Sarah Inc.!" 
 "Perhaps a change of clothes would be suitable for them? And a spot of tea?" 
 Sarah Elizabeth spoke up, "That would be lovely!" Then they were whisked off to rooms, where royal maids Savannah and Leah attended them. The dressed them in the most beautiful dresses imaginable! Sarah Elizabeth wore a dark blue dress with a white sash, and Sarah wore a green one with lots of frills. 
 They re-entered the garden, and both the Doctor and Prince Micah rose at the sight. "Quite lovely, and proper!" Said the Prince. 
"Not bad, not bad. I've seen worse." They all turned their heads to a new comer. "Ah, allow me to introduce the captain of the guard, the ever cheerful, Captain William Macleod." 
 "A pleasure." Both girls said. 
 Suddenly, a large metal man strode into the garden. "You will all join the Cyberiad. You will be upgraded." 
 The captain rose to his feet. "Never, you great stoopid metal man!" 
 With that, the Prince, the Doctor, and the captain rushed the monster. 
 But out of the blue, another maid, with a frying pan, jumped on the back of the metal man and began beating it. "Take that, and that, and that!" With a great whallop, she kills the monster. 
 The Prince walks over to the maid, and kissed her hand. "I thank you, dear maid. Bethany, isn't it?"
"Yes, your highness." 
 William snorted. "I could have taken it."
  Bethany replied, "Could not!" 
 "Could too!" 
 "Not a chance!"
  Meanwhile, the Doctor strode over to Sarah Elizabeth, and said, "My dear, you are too beautiful for words." He fell to one knee. Sarah Elizabeth began to swoon. "You must keep that dress, it's very becoming. He then began to tie his shoe. "Well, it's time that we be off! Farewell, Prince, and maids and captain. My dears, we.must be off! You must be home in time for toast."
  And with that, they ran back into the box, and returned home.